I think this is the day that I usually run out of steam on projects. I have had a lot of fun writing, and I know that I still have some stories left in me that I want this to be a safe space to share. I'm also deep in a reflective state today and know that I'm feeling that familiar feeling of not wanting to continue.
It's not so much "not wanting to continue", but it's a subtle vibration of "does this really matter?". I do this a lot. I start things and don't finish them because I feel like I'm not making a difference in someone's day, or that what I have to say is not interesting enough for people to stick around for.
So I'm going to flip this narrative. This is about me. This is about my continuing on in a project whether it's of any interest to anyone else or no one else gives a flying hoot. This is my space to come and write and share and explore what it's like to show up to the page every single day.
I have realized why I'm hesitant to go deeper on any of these posts. I so want to, because I see those in this challenge diving deep, sharing vulnerably, and I know that I want to do that too. But I know that this blog could be accessed by certain people who I don't want to read the things that I want to share.
I set this blog so that it's not searchable on google, but if someone really wanted to, they could facebook stalk my page and find the link to this blog. I have some people in my life who would actually do that, so here it remains-I'm staying surface level.
If you have any suggestions for what I can do, I'm all ears. I used to have a website that had a lovely feature that allowed me to have unpublished pages and I used one as a private blog. But I took that site down because it didn't sit well with me anymore, and I feel like I'm heading for a period of regrowth and rediscovery and I need to redo how that site is presented to the world.
So now that I have those two thoughts out on the page, I feel much lighter. And I'm not going to worry about how many comments I get per post, or how many people view this. I'm going to simply continue to show up on my blog and write. And I will finish this blog along! <3 p="">
I dealt with this by deciding that my journal is where I can dive deep and say anything and everything whereas my blog is my public face. So my journal is like my closest friend, my blog like a friend in a not so close circle.
ReplyDeleteI feel you on this. I get the "what's the point of this" feeling a lot, I feel like my words don't matter, like I should just give up. I also feel like I'm putting myself out there too much, sharing too much, being too vulnerable. After all that, I also sometimes feel like someone somewhere needs to read what I had to say in a post.
ReplyDeleteI hope you do keep showing up, even if I haven't commented I have been enjoying your posts.
I've struggled with this, too. It was good to see someone share it. x
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