Monday, February 1, 2016

500 Words. Day 1. Starting over because I can.


I’m starting over. I love Mondays, and the first day of the month is my favorite. Both of these things happened today, so I decided that I’m starting over. I’m sure it’s not going to affect anything, but I figured I would tell you.

The Coach told me a few weeks ago that I write the way that I talk. That is one of the reasons that I’ve struggled with writing recently. I want to be able to weave stories together, enrapture people with my words. I don’t feel that I do that with my verbal storytelling, so it’s not going to happen with my written words. YET.

I’m participating in a “Vlog everyday in February” group, and that’s a new thing for me also! My hope is that as I continue to put myself in front of my camera (whether its my computer or my phone), that I will become more comfortable with my voice, more confident in my speaking, and have an easier time being able to step into story telling mode.

Writing AND recording myself everyday in February? What the hell am i thinking? I have so much going on right now! I realized that I have four jobs that are going to be taking up my time. If you want to be technical it’s only three, since I haven’t really done anything with coaching,  but I want to so I'm counting it. 

The first one is the “normal”, steady job. I know what my hours are, it’s comfortable and “easy”. It’s only easy because I’ve been there for almost 5 years (March 4th will be here before I know it!). I still learn and put myself into new situations at work, but it’s retail, and I’ve been working retail for way to long now. So I don’t count that as a job that will put me outside of my comfort zone.

The spa. Also a “steady” job, but only because I know the hours that I’m available there. I never know if my day is going to be wide open, or if I will be completely booked. What I do love about my job here is that every session is different. I also have the ability to grow my business there with new clients and new offerings. I really want to teach yoga at the spa and host various workshops. I have been thinking over the past few days about different offerings for the spa, different ways to market and bring in new clients. I love it. 

The newest addition to my busy, busy work life is yoga teaching! I’m so fucking excited about this and terrified at the same time. I know that said I wanted to teach yoga at the spa, but I’m actually in charge of a dedicated class every week at the studio I’m working at. Monday mornings at 9:30 am. Rise and Shine bitches! With the studio, I’m going to be responsible for doing all sorts of marketing to get people to show up for my class. That is scary, but exciting. Way outside of my comfort zone. I did say that this year I wanted to be SEEN more, and this is my chance! I also want to teach a yin class at the studio, and this space would be perfect for workshops on embodiment coaching (if I ever get my fucking ass in motion with that.)

And that brings me to the *fourth* job. My embodiment coaching practice. The thing that I am in love with and ultimately terrified of. I sometimes feel like I don’t know enough about this to talk to people about it. I know it’s a bunch of hogwash bullshit, but because I hold it so close to my heart, I’m afraid to put it out there and fail at it. 

Since I so quickly typed out these 500 words, I want to spend some time tomorrow writing about my coaching. Even if that is scary, putting it out there should help me a little bit. Right? All of this work is essentially moving me towards a space where I have to be vulnerable in order to grow. And I feel that the most vulnerable thing for me at the moment is to be seen as a non perfect human being.

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